Thursday, March 11, 2010

Zombie Survival Office Supplies

After watching the season finale of AMC's The Walking Dead, I was thinking about my lack of preparation for the impending zombie apocalypse. Every smart zombie survivalist already knows the basics; you are going to have to leave your dreams about flame throwers and machine guns behind, because you are going to have to move fast if you are planning on moving at all. I'm not the type to actually waste too much of my time and money preparing for something that will come at an unknown time. I'm not stocking up on rations or weapons. I've got a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide and I know what part of town I'm headed to in case of an emergency. I have prepared this unofficial guide to zombie survival office supplies for any person or group of people who may want to mask their purchase of survival items online, or who may be in the midst of an outbreak with only office supply stores nearby.

Say what you will about people drinking bottled water when tap water is readily available, but if the tap water goes away, you'll be glad to have Office Snax bottled water available when you need it. Along with water you'll need something to fill your stomach and give you some necessary vitamins and protein. I'd suggest some V-8 Juice and some Beef Jerky (Slim Jim) to keep yourself moving. There might be a lot of sodium in those products, but there are worse things (like having your brains eaten).

Assuming you have some kind of basic shelter and a reasonable supply of food, you can start worrying about your secondary supplies. You'll survive just fine without bandages and pain relievers for a while, but you'll need them eventually and you don't want to have to haul around a pharmacy and a hardware store. Pick up a fully stocked First Aid Kit, a large box of Extra Strength Tylenol, some Neosporin and a Multi-Tool. You should be good to go.

If you are hoping for a life that is more than just survival in this zombie filled environment, things are going to get risky. You'll want a good two-way radio (yes, you can find these at an Office Supply Store) to help you communicate with others. If the movies have ever taught us any real zombie survival skills, it's that our biggest enemy will be other humans, so you'll have to be careful who you talk to. If you are going to be out exploring you'll want to setup a basic way to keep track of where you've been and what may or may not be safe, a few rolls of Barricade tape are prefect.

UPDATE: Added a zombies tag because I now have two zombie related posts.  Hooray.


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